


eyes are the window to the soul

by izazov



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27012112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izazov/pseuds/izazov
Summary: Obi-Wan stands in the desecrated home of his kin, the Force echoing with their deaths all across the galaxy. And yet, impossibly, it is not the worst feeling he had experienced.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Vader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 646
Collections: Angst Prompts





	eyes are the window to the soul

The Force feels like an open wound: a searing, sharp ache, pulsing incessantly at the back of his mind.

But it is nothing -  _ nothing _ \- compared to the sight and feel of the Temple. 

Each stuttery inhale of breath Obi-Wan takes is accompanied by the stench of smoke and fresh blood. Everywhere he looks, he sees scorch marks and blaster burns. 

And… dead bodies. Jedi and troopers alike, lying discarded on the ground, eyes staring vacantly into distance.

A tomb. That is what the Temple had been turned into. It has always been a home to peace and life and light, and now it is a place of darkness and death, the chill of it permeating the air, seeping into Obi-Wan's very soul.

And in the middle of it stands Anakin, darkness clinging to him like a trusted friend, his eyes shining with a fervent, near manic gleam.

If this is a nightmare, it is a new one. A horrible, wretched, impossible nightmare.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin says, stretching out his hand toward him. "You're finally here, with me. Safe."

Instinctively, Obi-Wan takes a step back, bile gathering at the back of his throat.

"Safe?" Obi-Wan repeats, incredulous. Distantly, he is aware of the tremor in his voice, in his hands. "How can you say that? Look around you, Anakin. At what has become of our home. At the bodies of our brothers and sisters. Of our men. Is that how safety looks to you?"

Anakin's outstretched hand curls into a fist, his mouth sketching an ugly, vicious slant. "They were traitors and liars, and no family of mine. They got exactly what they deserved."

The echo of Anakin's words - cruel, merciless, vicious - is still resonating in the stifling silence of the Temple when his expression softens, his fist loosening and fingers stretching invitingly toward Obi-Wan.

"You are the only one who matters. The only one who ever mattered," Anakin says, low and heated. 

Obi-Wan swallows convulsively, the sound of Anakin's voice coaxing to the forefront of his mind memories of other times, other places. Memories of happiness and warmth, of whispered declarations and teasing endearments, of fevered touches and gentle kisses. 

Illusions then, and now mockery. Every kiss, every touch, every promise; every single one once a precious treasure, now a brand of guilt and shame.

Obi-Wan shakes his head, forcing his attention back to the present. And Anakin, who is speaking, but his words are those of a stranger. A madman. 

_ An enemy. _

"... cannot spread their poison any longer. Or hurt anyone with their lies and hypocrisy." Anakin's gaze burned zealously, a hint of sickly yellow seeping into the blue of his eyes. "The war is over and the galaxy is finally safe."

A laugh, high and cracking at the edges, escapes Obi-Wan's throat as he takes another step back. Away from Anakin. "I don't think you grasp the meaning of that word, Anakin."

Obi-Wan can feel Anakin's anger flaring through the Force, beating at Obi-Wan's shields. He lowers his hand, slowly, his expression drawing into a scowl.

"Don't speak like that. The Jedi are gone. The Council is gone," Anakin says, each harsh word another blow against Obi-Wan's heart. "You are no longer theirs. To fight and to die for. Don't you see it, Obi-Wan? You are free.  _ We _ are free."

The white noise inside Obi-Wan's head goes quieter with each word that leaves Anakin's mouth, leaving Obi-Wan with nothing but the terrible truth. The truth he avoided to face since the moment he felt his bond with Anakin become infused with thick, poisonous darkness and his own men turned their weapons on him.

Anakin is the enemy. A… Sith. And Obi-Wan has nothing left. Only the truth of himself. And a ragged hole inside his heart.

"You forget, Anakin," Obi-Wan says, quiet but steady. Briefly, he flicks a glance at the squadron of troopers standing a couple steps behind them. The blue on their armor marks them as Anakin's men. Obi-Wan cannot see their faces so he cannot tell whether they, too, wear the same blank face Cody did as he ordered Obi-Wan to be apprehended. The same empty gaze that remained unchanged even when Obi-Wan ignited his lightsaber. "I am a Jedi. And I have always been free."

Anakin blinks, confusion and an almost childlike hurt flicking across his features. "No.  _ No _ ," Anakin says, shaking his head in fierce, blind denial. "Stop saying that. They sent you to die. They would have kept sending you to die, if it weren't for me." 

Anakin grows silent, his breathing harsh and loud in the ensuing silence. With a sickening lurch in the pit of his stomach, Obi-Wan notes that the yellow has nearly swallowed the blue of Anakin's eyes.

"Why are you so stubborn?" Anakin snaps, making a sharp gesture with his gloved hand. "The galaxy is ours. We can finally be happy together. No one can separate us anymore."

Obi-Wan's heart twists painfully in his chest. "I was already happy, Anakin. I thought you knew that," Obi-Wan says, voice soft, painfully aware that his admission no longer matters. Not now, when all chances of happiness are gone, shattered by Anakin's own hands. "And I never wanted the galaxy. Under any circumstances. Especially not when the cost seems to be genocide of my entire kin."

Anakin's jaw clenches, the Force trembling with his rage. With his despair. Obi-Wan feels them surging through their bond; a searing, destructive flame, destroying all traces of the warm, bright presence that has become an intricate part of Obi-Wan's life: something vital, necessary.

Something beloved.

"You speak treason, Obi-Wan," Anakin warns, his eyes narrowing. "Choose your words with more care."

Obi-Wan's mouth curves, forming a mirthless half-smile. "And what will happen if I choose to disobey? Are you going to have me killed? Or are you going to do it yourself?" Obi-Wan lets his gaze linger on the body of a Nautolan Padawan, lying just a few feet away, feeling his throat clench. A life that was only beginning, already extinguished. For the crime of being accepted among the Jedi. 

Inhaling sharply, Obi-Wan snaps his gaze back toward Anakin, his expression hardening. "Like you did with the rest of my family."

"I did it for  _ you _ !" Anakin cries, his voice reverberating through the empty hall and the Force alike. He points one accusing finger at Obi-Wan, his entire body looking like a coiled spring. "So you wouldn't die! So we could be together. And  _ this _ is how you thank me? With contempt? And clinging to Jedi lies and corruption?"

Obi-Wan flicks a glance at the silent troopers, ignoring the writhing agony of his heart. Ignoring the guilt and regret of having failed Anakin so profoundly. Ignoring his own role - however inadvertent - in the destruction of everything he believed in. Everything he fought to preserve. Focusing only on one remaining truth of his life: he is a Jedi. And as a Jedi he will die.

"No, Anakin," Obi-Wan says, shifting into battle stance, the familiar shape of his lightsaber both a comfort and a terrible weight in his hand. Anakin's eyes go wide, only to close in the next moment, the Force around him screaming in turmoil. "Your deeds are your own. Your choices are your own. As for me, I would have gladly given my life to keep your hands clean of the blood of our brothers and sisters."

The hum of Obi-Wan's lightsaber igniting is followed by the troopers raising their blasters in Obi-Wan's direction.

Obi-Wan smiles grimly, tightening his grip on his lightsaber despite the hollow ache inside his chest. Death is not something he fears, and never has been, but dying at the hands of the men he trusted, at  _ Anakin's _ hands, is beyond Obi-Wan's comprehension. Even now. Surrounded by nothing but death and darkness.

" _ No _ ," Anakin commands, sharp and hard, focusing his burning gaze on Obi-Wan. "Anyone who harms him, dies. He is  _ mine _ ."

When Anakin ignites his lightsaber, Obi-Wan shifts into a familiar defensive stance almost without a thought, wondering, faintly, how long until red replaces the blue of his blade.

Just as sickly yellow had consumed the last traces of blue from Anakin's eyes.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt 'I did it for you.' from [ this list.](https://angstober.tumblr.com/post/630010568682749952/faq-what-is-angstober-weve-put-together-31/) Just a scene from an AU in which Obi-Wan plays Padmé's role in Anakin's Fall.


End file.
